An open letter to the creepy guy following me around the dance floor.

Fuck off! I don't want to dance with you. That is why I didn't look at you when you started dancing toward me. That is why I moved away from you. That is why I turned my back on you. That is why I moved away again when you came near me again. That is why I moved away again when you ignored yet another signal. And finally, that is why I put my hand up in front of your face in a stop motion and walked away to join my friends sitting at the table when you tried to talk to me.

This may be a news flash, but I am not obligated to talk to you. You may think that you're trying to be nice, to compliment me by letting me know you're interested. Well, I'm not interested nor am I flattered by the way you persistently ignored of my clear signals. I kept moving away from you. I was not being coy - I did a loop around the entire dance floor to try to get away from you! In no way did I give you an indication that I wanted you to continue to pursue me. I clearly turned my back and moved away from you. I was happy dancing with myself ("uh uh uh oh") and made this obvious with my blocking body language. What more do you expect? Need I spit in your face?

I have been raised in a culture where women are taught to be nice. To be polite, even when we don't want to be. I can't think of a place that this problem comes to light more than in a bar or club. Some guy is macking on you and you just aren't interested. Are you taught to be assertive, to tell this guy that you aren't interested and that he should leave you alone? No. We are taught to dance with him, to listen politely, to laugh at his bad jokes. No wonder guys get confused! It would be easier for everyone if we just told him off the bat that he's hitting on the wrong woman. We aren't encouraged to do that, though. We don't want to be rude. We don't want to hurt his feelings or injure that "oh-so-frail" male ego we're always hearing about.

I would never be deliberately cruel to a guy who is hitting on me. I understand that it takes a lot of nerve to approach a woman. I try to be nice but if you are deliberately ignoring my "I'm not interested" signals, you don't deserve my continued consideration. It is amazing that even though I am going out of my way to not make you feel bad, you feel you have the right to make me feel creeped out by your persistence. You don't! Now fuck off! This is a good song.