I'm sure it comes as no surprise that an incredibly hectic fall has kept me away from doing any updates here for a shockingly long time. I have really kept meaning to but well, I haven't. So, I guess I'll just have to sum up the past few months quickly.

September - Things picked up at the clinic a bit. A sandwich board outside the building made a huge difference in walk-by traffic knowing we're there. The clinic owners decided to downsize and sublet some of the space in order to keep the clinic where it is. Yay! No move was necessary - other than shifting my treatment room a few doors down into an empty one in the more compact clinic space.

October - Theo's and my 6th wedding anniversary. Wow! I can't believe how fast the years have flown. We had a lovely trip to Sechelt, BC, staying at a B&B and relaxing. (Click for Pretty Pictures). We returned home to a huge bathroom renovation and to find out that Theovis was being laid off (between the break-in during our Mexico trip 2 years ago and the lay-off this trip, I'm never going to convince him to go away with me again).

We got started on the renos on October 17th and are still working on them today - albeit we're onto the final finishing touches. It took so much longer than we anticipated - these things always do, but we're happy with the end result. We've learned a huge amount about DIY home renovations and joke that we could start a renovation company - or kill ourselves. Anyway, for those of you who'd like to see some photos of the process - only to the half-way point since I still have a film camera and have to finish the roll before I can get it developed - can go here.

October 29 also marked the 2-year anniversary of my father's death. It was a rather melancholy day but being so busy helped to keep my mind from fixating too much. I think having my little freak-out earlier in the year cleared out a lot of the grief I'd kept bottled up and I'm dealing with his loss in a much healthier way now. I do miss him terribly, though.

November - Continued working like dogs on the renovations as well as being a little busier at the clinic and taking a short story writing class at Langara. Theo found work that would start a week after his old job ended. Yay! Some stress alleviated.

December - Started getting ready for the holidays as my living room was gradually being cleared of home renovation supplies. Had our first showers in the new tub on December 1 - man, was that overdue. Mum is happy to have decreased traffic to her bathroom. Managed to get my outdoor lights and indoor tree up, do some Christmas shopping, writing holiday cards like mad for both my patients and friends while putting the finishing touches on the bathroom - i.e. installing the sink and cabinets.

All in all, I'm really looking forward to the new year. A fresh start etc. with a swanky, non-rotten bathroom.

It has still been *really* quiet at the clinic. I'll have a good day or week and think things are turning around, but then it gets quiet again. It's terribly frustrating but I just don't quite know what to do to change it. I've tried various marketing strategies but nothing is working all that well. The fact that money is tight for everyone right now is a huge factor in why people aren't rushing in to deal with their aches and pains.

The whole clinic is hurting and will probably end up moving. I've totally been in denial because I just don't want to have to even think about changing clinics again. And I have such a great view here. I should probably have already found another clinic to make sure I'm not left hanging if all these deals go through to change the clinic location. But I just don't *want* to.

There are just too many factors to analyze re: room size, accessibility, reception, if people will follow me, plus how the f**k I can get there on transit. I don't want to jump ship too early in case nothing happens but also don't want to be left scrambling for a place to work if things collapse.

Can't I just have a little time away from the stress and chaos of this year? Please!

What an insane couple weeks. It's like another person took over my body and was living through me. Apparently, this isn't an uncommon phenomenon in those grieving, but I never imagined it would really happen to me. I always pictured those going 'crazy with grief' to be lying in their beds moaning and cursing the world for making them go through it. I didn't know you could be so out of it yet still manage to (mostly) maintain your normal life and job. It's a pretty bizarre experience. I really figured that I'd be past that by now. I handled everything so well in the beginning that I didn't figure it would show up in an acute form a year and a half later. I suppose it's gotta come out sometime. Perhaps trying to keep it together so well in the beginning delayed the healing process, or maybe I couldn't have dealt with these feelings then, and had to wait until now to process.

I knew I'd be missing my dad for a long time, but I didn't know the pain would still be so raw, and have the power to make me do almost anything not to feel it. According to 'experts', living big - even 'acting out' - apparently helps us get in touch with our own mortality, because we embrace everything that makes us feel alive. Unfortunately, it can also hurt those closest to us because they can't figure out why we're acting so far out of character. (Sorry, Sweetie) For me, it has also been much easier to spend time with people who aren't as close to the situation or as sensitive to my feelings because it saves me from having to express what is truly going on and how much pain I'd been really feeling. 'Party Kate' doesn't have to have those feelings. She's too busy having fun.

As I said in my last entry, I'm doing ever so much better. (Mostly) Stable Kate has re-taken the reins and things are slowly returning to normal. Better than normal, actually.

It's good to be back.

Well, June 12 wasn't a very cheery day, was it? I've definitely come through the storm surrounding Father's Day and seem to be back to my "normal" self again. I've backed off the partying and drinking, which seems to be making a big difference, but I definitely feel more like myself again, thank goodness. I don't think I could have lasted much longer in that crazy lady's brain. Scary stuff!

Even scarier, I actually went to a party dressed like this and didn't touch a drop of alcohol. My mum nearly had a fit as we were leaving the house. "Just don't get pulled over," was her advice. It's nice to still be able to get that reaction from my mum at this age...

I think these past few weeks have been the toughest so far in dealing with the death of my dad. Last year, I was simply too numb and focused on not falling apart that Father's Day came and went with not much upheaval. This year, I feel like a complete and total mess. Everything keeps reminding me of his loss and I'm jealous of the people who get to spend Sunday with their dads, even if their relationships aren't fabulous.

It is amazing how it has affected every part of my life. I totally don't feel like myself. My emotions are riding so close to the surface that I fly off the handle either giddy or furious or devastated within seconds. It's like me trapped inside this crazy, sad lady. Let me out!

And I know that this too shall pass. I just feel really ripped off by those who go on about how time makes everything better. Those bastards kind of forgot to mention how it gets worse first.

I still feel quite wretched following the dehydration following Thursday's irresponsibility. I'd just like to tell the universe, "Enough. Thanks for the physiology lesson but I get it already." Yeesh.

Is 29 the age that makes hangovers last 2+ days? If so, I'm going to stop drinking immediately.

Okay, who am I kidding? I'm not going to stop drinking but I'm definitely going to do more preventitive hydration so this never happens again.

Again with the super-busy. Lately I've been spending a lot of time on the house. It is amazing how much work there is to do maintaining a house rather than living in an apartment. I kinda dig mowing the lawn but wish it didn't have to happen every week.

I was my Birthday last weekend. 29 - kinda freaky. I managed to revert back to my early twenties by partying until 4:45 AM when the last people left a raucous Karaoke party. Our neighbours must totally hate us now. Ah well. After so many years of parties that divided up into the Everquest™ geeks and the moms with me stuck in the middle, it was fabulous to have a legit party with drinking and carousing and... Karaoke!

Last night, a friend's band was supposed to be playing so a bunch of us got together for a barbeque first. The gig ended up being cancelled so we hung out drinking and eventually went to the bar the band was supposed to be playing at to see the other band on the bill. I went way beyond the amount of alcohol a woman my size should consume on a work night. I actually had to call in sick this morning I felt so wretched. I don't think I've ever called in sick because of a hangover before. I feel really stupid. And quite nauseous. I think I learned a valuable lesson, though, if that counts for anything.

Okay, it got humiliating to get all the email asking when I was going to be updating my page, so here it is, updated. I've been crazy busy over the past little while and spending my downtime as a drone in front of the TV instead of as a drone in front of the computer. Actually, if this updating were more drone-like it might happen more often.

Anyone who is wondering about the audition, and who hadn't heard the story yet, I didn't get in. I will write a rant about my day dealing with the most disorganized group of theatre folk I've ever encountered (and that says a lot!) once I'm ready. You can check out some of my headshot photos on my bio and photos pages - at least I got something good out of the situation.

I went to both San Francisco and Seattle last week. It was ridiculous that we haven't been away in forever then go away twice in one week. The San Francisco one was for Theovis to do some work stuff - I tagged along and joined him and his co-workers for their free time. I would just like to say for the record that his bosses totally rock! We didn't manage to see Alcatraz - stupid Spring Break crowds - but did wander throughout the city and take in the sights. Haight-Ashbury was a pretty cool area but it is a source of great irony that there is a Gap on the corner of Haight and Ashbury street. Once the centre of counterculture, now the centre of corporate culture. Alas...

We'd been trying to get to Seattle for the past 2 years since our last trip and finally managed to get it together. We got a car from the Co-op and drove down - stopping in Burlington to buy Theovis many shoes at the Vans outlet store. We spent the first night in a slightly scruddy (but fairly clean) hotel downtown but had a great dinner with a childhood friend and his wife. Yummy goat cheese ravioli! We shopped on Sunday although a lot of places were closed for the Easter holiday then went up to Nikchik, Punk and Mini-Kate's place to spend a night. They're the publishers of Green Ronin roleplaying books so all you gamers should buy their stuff (shameless plug). They fed us well despite two severely unsuccessful attempts to eat at Nikchik's favourite vegetarian restaurant - closed both times we attempted going. We sorta had to rush back on Monday to get the car back for someone else who'd reserved it and either the traffic was good or I drove way too fast because we got home with several hours to spare. 'Twas a shame we didn't stay longer down South but it did save us from spending any more money.

It's been snowing like mad over the past couple days. We don't see much of the white stuff in Vancouver - except on the mountains - so it's incredibly bizarre to see a foot or so outside my door. The cats keep running to the balcony door when I open it then sit there disgusted at the cold and wet but they would like me to keep the door open so they can sniff the air. Typical. I was walking home from a movie late last night - Amélie (so worth watching) - and it was so muted and still and magical with snow crunching underfoot and the trees dusty, sparkling skeletons. Total cliché moment but fabulous nevertheless.

I decided to take the plunge and do the audition for Joseph. I went to North Van on Thursday to get head shots taken and I think they went well. We'll see once I get the proofs back in a couple days. I also picked up some sheet music and arranged a couple voice lessons with my choir instructor to prep myself. The audition is just under two weeks away so I've got a little bit of time to get really nervous. I've just got to remember that I've done this before - not since High School - but I have done it. Eep!

I did go to that ballet class last week and it was WAY above my level - I mean, they were all steps I can do, just not in that sequence at that tempo. Despite my fears there was no group laugh-a-thon at my expense and there was even at least one person in the class worse than me. Phew. I will definitely find a lower level for a little while before attempting it again, though.

Oh, and Happy Birthday (yesterday) to my big brother James.

Finally got to a dance class yesterday. Yay! Ms. Mango and I attended a beginners Hip-Hop class, which was a blast. Felt really good. Considered going to a ballet class at my old studio after but went and bought some new glasses instead. Go figure. I plan to go to a ballet class on Thursday night at a new studio, even though I'm afraid it will be above my level and everyone will laugh. Especially since I'm afraid it will be above my level and everyone will laugh. I've gotten way too afraid of trying things and need to change my attitude and take risks.

I lay awake last night wondering if I should take another risk and audition for Theatre Under the Stars - they do outdoor musicals during the summer. One of the musicals they're doing is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat, which I love. The other is Kiss Me Kate (gotta love that title). Unfortunately, both of the audition dates are inconvenient due to work or an MTA seminar that will help my practice. Also, I'd have to go get some head shots taken and developed in a big hurry. Also, all the rehearsals might conflict with work or other activities. Also, I'm afraid it will be above my level and everyone will laugh. Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern here...

Happy New Year, Everybody! I guess I was bored last year because I've started out the year so far pretty busy. I've been making a real effort to get out and do things and will be taking a couple dance classes and fencing this year.

I know. Fencing? What the..? But it's super cool. I invited myself to go along with Theovis and Tytalus last week and I really liked it. I think eventually I'd like to do some real sword fighting (i.e. long sword or bastard sword) but this is pretty cool for now. And it is great exercise which is a nice bonus. Plus it's something Theovis and I can do together, which is yet another bonus.

Out of nowhere I got a bizarre invite from a stranger to join other Bloggers for drinks next week. I was totally weirded out until I noticed a person I know - Sam - on the "confirmed attendee" list. I sent her an email and she explained who the dude was that invited me. I guess he found my site on a link from another, and invited me along with other Vancouverite webloggers. I'm not really a weblogger but I thought it might be fun to go, mostly because Sam will be there, and I haven't seen her in ages, but it conflicts with my fencing class. Alas...

Apparently, I'm the lungs.

Which Internal Organ are you? Find out at willaston's lounge!