Had a pretty good week celebrating the holidays, although I worked like a complete mad-woman to get there. I put in several extra days at the clinic to accomodate for time off over Christmas, and to get a little bit more cash to pay for holiday expenditures and save for the tough times to come, courtesy of the Provincial Government and seconded by the Insurance Corp. of BC. Long story, don't feel like repeating it again. I'm sure I'll rant on it soon.

Made the traditional Christmas Eve lasagne, drank some wine and was merry with Mum and Theovis after a day at the office. Cooked up a storm the following afternoon for a successful Christmas dinner with Theovis, Mum, Mom and Terry. The Tofurky was mostly a success but I think I need a thermometer for our oven since I don't believe that the temperature on the dial is accurately reflected in the inside temperature of the oven. Tasty leftovers the next day. Made the epic ferry trip to Victoria to see the rest of the local(ish) family. Our 10 month-old niece Emily is damn adorable and extremely good natured, making the visit much more pleasant than sharing a house with an unhappy child. We were trying to teach her to make vampire faces and hiss and she was pretty good at it by the end of the visit.

So here I sit, exhausted, the night before New Year's, cat in my lap and severe cramps in my womb. Woo hoo! We're supposed to go to a party with some friends but I'm really leaning toward laming out and spending the night at home. New Year's is always such a disappointment. I am also torn by a desire to do something since we do seem to spend all together too many nights at home. Blah!

We had a housewarming brunch today that went off really well. I was really worried that we weren't going to be anywhere near ready (boxes were still overwhelming our living areas) but thanks to the miracle of really hard work, we pulled it off. Lots O' Fun.

Tonight we headed over to our former apartment for a housewarming for our former roomie's new roomies. It was very strange to be in a place where we lived for 2 1/2 years that looked fairly familiar but so different. Especially our old room which seemed about 3 times larger than it was when we had all our crap in there.

Theovis headed home early thanks to a slight wog he'd been fighting for a few days, but I was really looking to let off some steam so I headed off to the bar with a few friends to shoot some pool. It was fun, but I really felt like a tag-along. I think that many of my single friends automatically think I'm no fun because I'm married. I then tend to overcompensate to try to prove that I still am fun despite the legal status of my union, and come off like a hyperactive git. So, here I am at home, late night in front of the computer, wishing I was still out having some fun after they all went home together after walking me to the Skytrain (from which I ran home - it is after midnight). And for some incredibly weird reason, my fingers look really blue. I'm not sure if it's the light or if I'm turning blue. Eep.

So, yeah. Here I am. Late. Frustrated. Blue.

Okay, it is positively shameful how long it has been since I've done an update. Bad Vertigogirl! I have been too busy working and working on the house to do much of anything, but I've also been laying around in a heap when I do get some free time. The times I'm usually inspired to update are when I have to be doing something else I don't really feel like doing.

The house is starting to come together. It is still a giant pile of boxes, but I do move the piles around from room to room now. At least they're not stagnant piles. Right? I like to think of it as lateral progress. What I really would like to be doing today is putting up our Christmas tree but I have to find room in the living room for that to happen. Who knows, maybe there will be a Vertigogirl shaped whirlwind in the place this afternoon and I'll get it all organized. Stop laughing. It could happen.

I got to play with electricity yesterday while installing some new outdoor lights. I did actully remember to turn off the breakers before exploring the wonderful world of wires though. I also started my one woman campaign against mildew armed with a mop and a bucketful of (evil) bleach-water. Our lovely deck had been paradise for spores but it is no more, thanks to my mop of death. Be warned, spores. The mop will strike again as often as necessary! Muahahahaha! (Yes, I'm scaring myself, too)

I'm really looking forward to the holidays. It is one of my absolute favourite times. It will also be so great to be in our own place all settled by the time they come around. Yay!

It's been a year since Dad died. Hard to believe it has been so long already. We've been so busy with getting this house thing happening that we haven't really had time to think about it too much, which I think is a good thing. Now that we've made it through all the "first blank without him"s, we can start dealing better with the fact that he's gone. I've found myself several times lately wishing I could discuss world events with him, get his always-insightful perspective on the whole thing. Yet, I'm also glad in some ways that he isn't here to have to see all the awful images and feel the fear.

I miss him.

Well, I have completed my Body for Life program. In the past 12 weeks, I've lost 16 pounds (I'd lost 4 before starting - though it took me 10 weeks of zig-zagging to do that) and toned up a whole bunch. I've dropped 2-3 sizes in pants and am totally thrilled. I NEVER imagined it would be so successful. I looked at all the before and after photos in the book when I first started the program, and thought "No fricking way!". Apparently I was wrong.

I think I am going to straight back on it for another 12 weeks, not to lose a bunch more weight, although another 10 or so wouldn't be missed, but to keep toning and strengthening. I feel so great being in my body now. A feeling I haven't had in a really long time.

Of course, all this seems rather trivial at the moment, but you've gotta grasp on to what little sense of normalcy you can while the world is completely messed up.

It's Thanksgiving this weekend. A good time to be with family. Theovis and I will make sure to have dinner with Mum (mine) and Mom (his). Thanksgiving dinner was the last time we were all together last year before Dad died, and I think we'll all really be feeling it this year, especially since it will be the last time we're all together in Mum's townhouse before we move. I lived there with Mum and Dad when I first graduated High School and was at University. It has always seemed like a temporary home (they talked about moving every year) but it still feels like a stable base and it will be weird to not have it anymore. Our base now will of course be really stable - since it will be ours (in 20 years, anyway) - but it will be a new stable. Hang on, am I talking about horses? I don't know.

I was really shaken up about the WTC earlier this week when I read that Angel - the guy who won Murder in Small Town X - was one of the many New York Firefighters killed in the rescue effort. I don't know why that really hit me. It seemed really stupid that a person on a reality show dying broke through the numb shock to leave me sobbing in my bed at 2 AM (who knew Entertainment Weekly was such explosive bedtime reading?). I'm not one of those people who reacts really strongly when public figures die. I am always saddened but don't sit and sob as if it was my loss. I guess I reacted here because he seemed like a genuinely good guy, despite the competitive feel of any reality show. That reminded me that all those rescue workers were genuinely good people - risking their lives for others - that the scope of the tragedy was finally becoming real to me. The fact that I was riding the hormone rollercoaster known as PMS didn't help matters.

I went on to sleep very poorly that night and have felt pretty much like shite all week. I keep forgetting things in a way I never do. Confusing an appointment time (I arrived an hour late) put me in such a frustrated rage that I decided to go for a run (my first this week). Of course, the treadmill was being repaired but I hopped on the stationary bike and just went for it. The endorphin buzz really perked me up and I have felt much better all day.

Oh yes, and I've become completely addicted to Caesars. Clamato juice should count as protein, right?

What can be said about the events of the last couple weeks that hasn't been said already? The shock experienced around the world when those images started pouring in was unfathomable. Those attacks changed the world we live in irrevocably. My initial response was disbelief followed by rising panic about what would happen next. I am really pleased that nothing rash has been done so far by the U.S. in response.

I must admit that I've been really impressed with the way George Dubya has been handling himself over the past 2 weeks. I have thought him to be a complete git pretty much since he arrived on the scene, but he seems to be cut out for this type of leadership role. He has excellent speech writers and comes across as incredibly composed when addressing large groups of people. I am also so relieved that his administration is taking a slow, methodical approach to retaliation, and didn't just start bombing the shit out of somebody before they knew who was responsible.

As a Canadian, one of our sources of national pride comes from the fact that we're not American, but I have felt closer and more respectful of our Southern neighbours over the past 2 weeks than ever before. The country has pulled together beautifully and I really respect the way that many are refusing to show fear and are simply continuing on with their lives - although saddened by the tragedy. I'm very glad that other countries, including my own, are rushing in to back them up and show the support that the Americans have shown to many others undergoing crises. Gods bless!

I have even felt pretty touched by the singing of The Star Spangled Banner and God Bless America at various events. One thing that drives me crazy is the vocal masturbation of singers that insist on noodling so much around the melody that they aren't even singing the same song. Sure, make a piece your own, but this isn't really the time for showboating how many trills you can fit in one bar of music. Being able to sing The Star Spangled Banner period is a pretty impressive skill, so all the extra ornamentation is unnecessary and uncalled for.

I've spent a lot of time over the past week doing an overhaul of this site. There aren't many cosmetic changes at all, but I did a bunch of reorganizing and also converted much of it to style sheets (for those of you who don't know, they make it easier to make sweeping changes through a site by changing one page, rather than hundreds. Unfortunately, if you don't start out with them, converting over can be a real chore.) So, if you find broken pictures or links, please drop me a note so I can correct them. I think I caught almost everything, but my eyes tend to glaze over after so many hours. Also, my apologies for the tacky "casino" add on all the pages, but it seems to be the only way a person can get free traffic analysis. I'd be willing to pay a little, but several companies want more than $30 US a month. Considering the size of my site, that is absolutely absurd so we're stuck with nasty, flashing advertising. Yick!

I've been working like a mad woman! I've taken on extra responsibilities in my second job, and am really going beyond the allotted hours of pay to get it all done. I really feel ownership with the project, though, so I'm willing to put in the extra time to really get it as good as possible. Pride in your work is one thing, but I'd better be careful not to get too carried away since there is only so much one woman can do.

I'm just starting week 6 of Body for Life. I've lost 9 pounds and am really starting to see some muscles developing, which is cool. Lots of people have been commenting on my weight loss which is pretty great, considering how long I've been struggling to get anywhere with it. I am getting rather fed up with trying to get enough protein all the time. The "easy" answers such as protein bars tasted good at first, but now they all taste pretty much the same, no matter what flavour they are. I have also been too busy to really get groceries on a regular basis, so I'd run out of appropriate food here. We got some delivered this morning, though, and I've been getting some more variety thanks to a fridge full of food. Mmm, food!

Yesterday was the start of week 4 of the Body for Life program. I've been keeping it up really well - have only missed one workout in the 4 weeks (while I was away). Maintaining the eating pattern is more difficult since it is really tough to consume enough protein without huge carbs as a fish-eating vegetarian. I've dropped 6 pounds, and am sure I've gained some muscle mass. I took my second set of photos, which do show some changes. Unfortunately, I can only rely on what I remember about the first set since I can't seem to find where I put them. Perhaps someone stole them as blackmail material. Alas...

I had a pretty good trip up North to my reunion. I will post a longer update with a summary of the events, and if I can get it together to use a scanner, some photos.

We had a nice quiet ceremony to inter Dad's ashes at the cemetary in Rolla, BC. Mum, James, Theo, Kamala and myself, along with some really close friends of the family gathered to say our final goodbye. I said a few quick words and we read the 23rd Psalm before placing some flowers with the urn, sprinkling ashes overtop then covering him with the dirt. James had to dig the hole then cover it, which I think was pretty intense for him, but I also think it was a good moment for him to make his peace with Dad's death. A stone marker wil be placed on the site in a few weeks, which is a piece I was hoping to have in place when we were there, but these things take time. I feel like I will have to visit the site again with the marker in place before I've really seen him put to rest, but that will come in time.

Ooh. Only 10 days between entries. Not bad...

I'm just finishing week 2 of the Body for Life program and it is going well. I've been exercising like a mad woman - 6 mornings a week! - and have been getting up early every day to perform said exercise before work. I'm a little fatigued and I've been getting a lot of headaches, but I think that is as much to do with not drinking coffee after I exercise, so I'm getting caffeine withdrawal headaches. I'm taking tylenol instead, because I know the headaches will eventually fade. I may try to figure out how to add instant coffee to my protein shakes to make yummy coffee ones. I'll keep you posted...

I'm heading up to Dawson Creek for my High School reunion. I am both looking forward and slightly nervous about the whole thing. I left Dawson after Grade 10 but since I grew up with all the people who will be there, I figured I may as well go too. It will be really interesting to see some people I haven't seen for 12 years. Will the bitches still be bitchy? Will the nerds be wealthy and successful? Will the jocks be fat and have dead-end jobs? My closest girlfriend from that time, Dylan, will be going as well, so we can always act all citified and superior if it isn't going well. My brother's wife was also in my class, so I'll have lots of people to talk to. Theovis is coming to Dawson but wouldn't go near the reunion with a 20-foot artichoke (random firing of neurons in that last phrase!).

The reason that Theovis is coming too, as well as Mum, is that we're going to do the burial of my dad's ashes at a pretty little cemetary outside of Dawson Creek. It is in one of the pioneer communities - Rolla - now really just a district, rather than a town. They have a lovely little cemetary on a hill overlooking a fabulous expanse of the Peace River countryside, and we figured it would be a nice final resting place for him. It is going to be a rather tough day performing the not-really service (I will write a few quick words to say then we will all recite the 23rd Psalm - we're definitely not going to do another memorial service), but it will give us a final sense of closure. Happiness and heartbreak paired yet again.

I have decided to start the Body for Life exercise program. It seems to be all over the place at the moment, although I only first heard about it a couple months ago. I am normally really wary of fad diets and exercise programs but this one does seem to have some reasonable physiological basis, and it isn't asking for a person to commit 18 hours a week to working out. I'd run into a bit of a wall (figuratively, of course, although I am rather clumsy. It would have been exciting to recount the story of me flying backwards off the treadmill into the wall, but it didn't happen, honest...) with my running program and realized I needed to take a different approach for a while if I wanted to continue to get stronger and fitter.

So far things seem okay with the program. I worked out first thing in the morning 3 days last week and have been working on getting my eating to fit the regime as closely as possible - you get to eat 6 small meals a day. Today I went and bought some cheap dumbells (one of which managed to squish my right ring finger as I put them away) and a shwack-load of healthy groceries so that there is always good food available. It makes the temptation to eat mini-pizzas a lot weaker. Though, one day a week on the program, I get to eat whatever the heck I want which serves to make people feel less deprived and reminds them how crappy they feel when they eat junk food all the time.

The book which explains the Body for Life system is filled with before and after photos of people who made miraculous transformations in the 12 weeks. I am a little doubtful that that is actually possible, but what the hell. If I do indeed make a miraculous transformation in 12 weeks, I will post my before and after photos here. At this point, I am definitely not willing to post a picture of myself in a bikini on the website.

Went to see Tomb Raider last night. It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but it was a fun little lark. Angelina Jolie is a full-on Scorchcake which makes the viewing more entertaining. The action and the various set pieces were really cool. I'd give it a 7.5/10. Cats and Dogs which I saw last weekend was better. Megalomaniac cats trying to take over the world. That is a plot I believe, though considering how much I cater to my two, I think they might be pretty close already. Extremely silly but laugh-out-loud funny in many places. Definitely fun. I'd give it an 8/10.

I found my first grey hair today!!! Yikes! I've always talked about how cool I think grey hair is on young people, but I never expected to get it myself. The Celestial Design Committee is having some fun at my expense. I'm not especially freaked out about it, but I kinda am. It is just really weird. I'm only 28 (I know that there are many people completely grey at this stage). It is just a bit of a reality check that no matter how many pigtails I wear, or glitter belts, or Hello Kitty accessories, I am totally getting older and soon won't be able to pull that stuff off at all.

I will have to resolve myself to eating bonbons on the couch while watching my "programs".

P.S. For those of you who are interested, that little pad I put in my running shoes has worked like a charm. I also had some physio and haven't had any of that nasty foot pain since. Yay! Unfortunately, now my neck feels like hell, for a completely different reason, I'm sure...

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. Theovis and I went out for lunch with my mum and his mom, and we had a nice time. No mention of dads took place (other than Mom reminding Theovis to call his), which I feel two ways about. On the one hand, I'm glad we didn't talk about it because it meant that there was no crying, but in some ways it also seems a little disrespectful to not even bring up the fact that we miss Dad. Perhaps in later years when the feelings aren't quite so intense we will be able to talk about it more.

I'm trying out a new computer setup with a larger monitor. It will mean less flexibility for positioning with my computer but it will be easier on my back. My massage therapist suggested it so I'm being a good patient and actually listening. I wish more of my patients would do so...

Strange pain in the front of my foot has been hampering my running but I just got some pads to put in my shoes that might help the impact somewhat. I think all the years in dance has made it that I don't put my foot down as naturally from heel to toe as I should (in dance, you always go toe to heel) which is giving me foot pain. I'm sure if I went to the running store they'd try to sell me new shoes but even though I've had them for 6 months (which is the time they suggest replacing them) I don't run enough miles a week to justify it. I can see it if you're running 6 miles, 3 times a week, but I do half that. I will try the padding and maybe some physiotherapy before I consider dropping more money on running shoes. Now that I've said that, I'm actually going to get off my butt and go do it, and come back to do a rant update once I've had some exercise.

Got the taxes done last week thanks to help from an accountant. I was all excited that the amount I owe was just under how much Theovis was getting back. Unfortunately, the accountant had screwed up and entered one amount in the wrong space (thankfully Theovis caught it before we mailed them in) and it turns out he's getting half what we were expecting. Alas... The accountant did knock $50 off our bill from him for the inconvenience which I thought was decent of him.

I am so back on my "I want a car" kick thanks to this stupid transit strike. I am a member of a car co-op but thanks to the aforementioned strike, the car is never available. I've had a few long walks in the pouring rain and/or expensive taxi rides and it is making me very crabby. People with cars have no idea how frustrating it is to have public transportation taken away - and I'm sure none of the jerkos from management have ever walked in the rain to appointments halfway across the city. Grr! I want a stupid car, oh, and a vacation.

It is remarkable that I can actually get updates to my journal done if I'm avoiding other work. Right now, I should be reading the Strategic Plan for Health Information Management - riveting I tell you! - so instead I just spent about half an hour looking at all the pictures of people I know (and many I don't) on Gradfinder. Gradfinder is a cool site and IMHO the best of it's genre. Many people I know are signed up for classmates.com but that site charges you to do anything. I know, gods forbid they have a revenue model but I object to paying to post my goofy little picture next to my name or emailing someone I haven't seen in 10 years. Kimph!

Anyway, it is my 10 year high-school reunion this year, which should be fun. I'm always curious what people I knew have gotten up to. I certainly don't remember high school as the best years of my life (though as I get older, they didn't suck as much as I thought compared to real life), but I had a good-enough time and look forward to seeing old friends and aquaintances. I'm going to try to go to the one up in Dawson Creek too, if possible, because although I moved before graduation, those are all the people I grew up with. I'd like to know how their lives turned out, too.

Easter weekend (I accidentally typed Eater before correcting it, which is pretty accurate considering how much chocolate I ate) went far too fast. I had been counting the days for 2 weeks until my 4-day weekend and I feel like I was at work yesterday. Alas... I did actually get a little bit of a sunburn while out on Sunday afternoon at the park with friends and their offspring. It was a beautiful day and it chipped away some of the Vancouver spring rust I was coated in and replaced it with skin-damaging UV rays. Also this weekend, I managed to avoid doing any work on my taxes, but am meeting with an accountant on Thursday, so I'd better get that all together. Fun, fun, fun!

Ah, a weekend of Board meetings. Nothing quite compares to the hours spent in hotel conference rooms arguing over the finer points of the Massage Therapy profession. You may wonder what the heck we can talk about for so many hours (as do I on a regular basis) but being insured by the Province is a blessing in disguise sometimes.

Also this weekend was my choir's spring concert. It went fairly well and we got a chance to sing in a beautiful church with the sun shining through glorious stained glass windows. I really have a thing for church architecture. If I ever get a chance to get to Europe I will spend endless hours looking at churches and cathedrals. It's enough to make me want to find religion.

I felt pretty sick by the end of Sunday. I always seem to come down with something after spending the weekend cooped up in hotel conference rooms. It must be something in the air systems in the hotels, or perhaps all the germy people I'm talking to. I suppose that is more realistic. Luckily sleeping for much of Sunday and Monday (although I actually had a productive work morning on Monday) I felt significantly better and was able to work at the clinic by Tuesday.

I definitely don't know how people can do massage full time because I'm on my third day this week and I'm physically and mentally exhausted. It sounds so whiney but my thumbs, wrists, elbows and knees are really sore. Oh, poor me! (dramatic sigh) Anyway... I'm really looking forward to this long weekend. I'm going to get some exercise, and if all goes well, finish my taxes. Whoopee!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, THEOVIS!

Yep, it's my sweetie's birthday today. He's currently sleeping in while I type this update and (ostensibly) get ready for work. Evil kitty Persephone is helping with the update by keeping me trapped in the computer chair with her soft fuzziness and cute little cooing purrs instead of doing my hair and makeup. It's a terrible thing, really.

I get to walk to and from work today. My bike was making a horrible grinding noise while I was riding home on Saturday and I haven't had time to take it to the shop. All the busses in Vancouver are on strike right now so walking it is. Luckily, my work is only 20 minutes away but they're ticking down the longer cute little Sephie sits here with me. Her nose is so pink, though. How can I kick her off?

We had a brunch as a Birthday celebration for Theovis the other day. It went off really well. Like last year, I invited way more people than I'm really prepared to host but we all made do, and despite the fact that I'd bought 3 dozen eggs, we ran out of food and the latecomers that forgot about Daylight savings time were SOL. I guess next year I have to ignore any of those internal warning that suggest I'm buying too much food. The birthday cake was a little less successful than I'd hoped. I took a template from this book of birthday cakes I'd had as a child and tried to make him a robot cake. Unfortunately, at 12 midnight, the cake was falling apart out of the pan and when I was icing it at 1:30, all the chocolate crumbling from the cake ended up in the icing. Theovis got a Swamp Monster birthday cake. At least it was scary... Unfortunately, I didn't have any film in the camera to allow me to share the full shame with all of you. The picture will be in my mind's eye, at least.

Ah, Spring is here and I'm squirrelly as hell! I can never believe how restless I get in the spring despite the fact it happens every year. I want CHANGE! I'm not too sure what kind of change but I know I want it. To make matters worse, I am on the second year of my two year housing cycle. I tend to live in a place for two years that seems "good enough" at the time I move in but by the end of the cycle, I'm ready to move on. Strangely enough (okay, not strange at all) this need to move coincides with spring.

I think the thing that contributes most to my spring-y misery and restlessness is clutter. Anyone who's been to our place knows it is a total clutter factory. Why would a factory produce clutter? I don't know, but they're obviously unloading their truck into our apartment - especially our office/bedroom - on a regular basis. I may have to take Mr. Universe Today's offer to help me sort and toss things out. Unfortunately his tactic of disposing of things containing atoms might be a little radical, but in our case, it might just be a good place to start.

I didn't bother making a new page for the new month because the February page seemed a little sad with only one entry sitting there. Alas...

I'm pretty excited that summer is almost here. I'm sure the East-coasters who were hit with that snowstorm would disagree with the above statement but I went for a run outside today in shorts, and actually got some colour.

I'm making a mixed tape for the first time in about 7 years to aid my outdoor running. I've decided to backup a few years on the technology front and return to a cassette walkman. Cassettes don't skip, though. Yay! It is also smaller and easier to carry. I want an MP3 player but that just isn't practical at the moment. Plus, making tapes feels so retro.

I didn't have a tape ready-made today when I went out so I threw "Various 3" into my walkman - I found it while spring cleaning a few weeks ago. I think I probably made it in 1993 and was curious what was on there. Some of it stood up to the test of time but much of the rest of it sure didn't.

It was worth a chuckle, anyway. Today's tape has music that I find inspirational to run to - fast, loud and angry seems to do it at the moment. It has a selection of Limp Bizkit, Garbage, Rob Zombie, Reel Big Fish, Clash, Bif Naked, Green Day - I'm sure I'll laugh about this stuff in 8 years, too.

Wow, I said I was going to be better about updating regularly this year. So far I'm not doing so well, am I? Oops.

Things have been going fairly well. This time of year is never easy for me and this year it has been extra tough. The reality of my dad being gone is starting to set in and I'm pretty sad. It's strange that in the grieving process I tended to push people away in the beginning because I couldn't deal with the sympathy and the offers of "shoulders". I came across as being "fine" because I had to put that forward to get through the day. Now, as it is sinking in and I'm ready to deal and cry, the offers aren't coming in anymore. I know they weren't limited time offers that have been taken back, but now I have to put out the effort to reach out to people and say, "Hey, I need you." I pretty much suck at that but am going to make an effort to do it.

I'm still running, which I really didn't expect to be doing at this point. When I started, it was just to be able to do something I've never been good at. Now, as hard as it is to believe, I like it and look forward to doing it (except at the end of a long work day). I get a real buzz from the strength I'm gaining in my body. I don't have any aspirations to become a marathon runner or anything but I'm liking the level I'm working at at the moment. I could really use a non-skipping Discman or MP3 Player, though. Running outside (as opposed to on the treadmill) is less fun because I have to listen to myself gasp instead of motivating music. The scenery is better, though...

Another year come and gone. I could wax all nostalgic about the year 2000 but it pretty much sucked ass so I probably won't. I guess I shouldn't make blanket statements like that but all in all, it wasn't a great year.

Christmas and New Year's were both pretty good. I spent them both with friends and/or family. They were quiet, which is the way I like it. Christmas was a little tough since we were missing a family member but we didn't get all maudlin about it so we all hung in there quite well. Dad was definitely missing from the festivities. It's little things that I noticed were missing like the official family toast (long story):